Common Goddamn Courtesy

Hey boys and girls. Today's rant is, as you can see, about common goddamn courtesy, especially when it comes to the phone.

Now, the majority of the phone calls I field are at the "tech" part of my job, so this will largely be a "tech" based rant. First off, do NOT say "Hi yes, I need all of my pills refilled. You know, whatever's due for me now. And can I get that in 5 minutes?" Seriously, this has fucking happened to me before. I know that the Angry/Angriest Pharmacists have picked this one apart to death by now, but as a tech, it's my job to make the pharmacist's life a little easier by fielding these calls so they don't have to deal with the inane shitspew that comes out of a caller's mouth.

Let's go to the drawing board. FIRST!!! DO NOT start going right into the prescriptions. If I say "Thanks for calling the Angry Pharmacy, how may I help you?" I do not want to be greeted by "fill all my scripts." If you treated me like a human fucking being, I would be more inclined to, you know, be nice to you. But if you start off like that, you're on the fast track to nowhere. So be courteous. Say please and thank you and all that other shit your parents were supposed to teach you.

Next, give your goddamn fucking name. I'm not a mind reader, for fuck's sake. Unless you're the .001% of the pharmacy customers that I can actually place a voice with a person, I'm going to need your name.

Okay, so now I've got the name. Mr. Steven F. VonRottencrotch. Perfect. Don't say "just fill everything I need." I will hang up on you faster than you can say "fuck me up the cornhole!" Give me either the prescription numbers or the names of the drugs that you need filled. Not just "everything". I want to know what you want filled, so I can make sure I fill it.

Now, if I say "okay, I'm running it through your insurance right now," don't hassle me. Our system sometimes takes a little bit to send and get a response from the insurance company. If it's been 10 seconds, that's normal!!! You don't need to pester me about what I'm doing. I guarantee you, if I was touching myself, I would be fired.

Finally, just say thank you when you're finished. Again, common goddamn courtesy is the name of the game. I've got a lot of shit to do, filling pills, dealing with other fucks at the window who have a variety of different issues, and I don't need your fucking bullshit too.

To those who do that? You're on notice.

Damn it to hell,
Angry