Yeah, I've been busy

Hey all. Yours truly has been busy for the past few weeks bending over for the Man and all that not-so-happy horseshit. But I assure you that I am still alive and committed to my rambling. After all, it's the only thing that's keeping me sane right now. I'm ready. You ready? Great, let's go.

To start, here's a big fuck you to the Foodstampable and MedicAid asswipes. Now, I know that government assistance is needed for some people, and some people don't abuse the system, but this is for the 99.9% of the other jackholes who should just turn over in their cardboard dumpster home and die:

IF YOU ARE GETTING STATE AID, YOU DO NOT CONTROL THE PLACE. My workspace is my dojo, and if you enter that dojo fingering your navel and hocking dipspit and saying "Well sheeyit, I dun needs theym theyr cigamarettes n' put it awn muh Fewdstaymps cahrd," will earn you a first-class one-way ticket to a hearty fuck you. Yes, Foodstamps in New York State have a thing called Cash Benefits, so if you're still broke after you buy your food and want to buy beer or cigarettes, you can still get the state to pay for it! Fuck those assholes in the neck. Oh, and for you MedicAidable fucks: cough up the goddamn dollar to pay for your meds!!!! Jesus fucking Christ! It's a GOD DAMN DOLLAR! Reach down into that sweatstained pocket of yours and pull out the nastiest looking dollar bill you've got. I don't care, as long as you pay for your fucking medicine. I am a taxpayer, and I DO have the right to say fuck you. PAY THE FUCKING DOLLAR.

Now, this next tidbit is for the older generation (from 70 and up). Yes, I know that there are some of you that try to get up with the times, but I'm talking about those ignorant senile fucks that won't listen to a god damn word I say. I'm not talking about the legitimately hard of hearing. I'm talking about the stubborn old geriatrics that think they know best about everything. Case in point. At the Angry Pharmacy, we have a system in place where you need to check that you don't want to be counseled by the pharmacist, and you need to click this before submitting your signature. If you don't, you have to sign all over again, so to make things easier, I give people spoken directions. "Do you have any questions for the pharmacist? No? Then click the top box and then the OK button when you're finished signing." But what do they do? Yup, you guessed it. They don't bother clicking the checkbox until AFTER the OK button. Then we have to do it allllllll over again. I may be making barely above minimum wage, but I do know something. Seriously, just take a step back. If you have a hard time understanding, I will gladly repeat myself for you with a smile on my face. Seriously. Just don't think you're all-knowing because I'm just a young prick. I know I am, but I'm a young prick that knows how to do his job.

While we're on the subject of old people, here's another one. Penny counters. Now this is one of those things that transcends age. If you have the change, that's great. If not, don't waste my fucking time counting out every god damn penny until you realize "Oops! I'm a few short!" and then just give me another dollar or whatever. Jesus. Is it seriously that hard to just give me a dollar rather than put me and everyone else in back of you through the bullshit of having you wonder "Hmm... is this a dime or a penny?"

This one is to a very special piece of useless human scum that has his seat in hell booked in advance. This guy comes in here nearly every day, and it seems like it's ALWAYS my line. Said douchebag spends 3 hours in the store looking to see if there are any price discrepancies and then if it rings up wrong, our scan guarantee is that if it's wrong, it's free plus a dollar. This happens with nearly every item. And if I make a mistake and hit the wrong button and he catches it, it's free plus a dollar. He pulled this shit on me once and I just told him no flat out. I made a mistake and I told him so. He promptly calls my manager over and tells her to fire me. She laughs and just gives him the discount. Whatever. I wasn't going to give it to him, but if I'm overridden by the boss, that's fine. I'm not happy about it, but still. For that fatass piece of shit, I hope you choke on your discount.

Next up is a not so heated request of all grocery shoppers that really shouldn't have to be stated, but has to anyway. Therefore, I promise to try REALLY hard not to sound like a dick in this one, because some people legitimately don't realize it. IF YOU ARE IN AN EXPRESS (20 ITEMS OR LESS) LANE: Please please please please PLEASE do not write a check. It holds up everyone in line and just makes the cashier miserable. Not only do most people wait for the order to be totaled before they BEGIN to write the check, but then it takes a while for the machine to process it. If you're in an express lane, the object is to be quick. Any type of credit/debit/fucking EBT card or cash is fine, but if you HAVE to use a check, make sure it's at least filled out most of the way or be aware that we can print the check out faster than it takes for you to write it.

Now this next rant is one that comes from the few days that I had to spend out in the bottle room. I swear to Christ, here is where you find the lowest lifeforms on earth. Seriously, these people aren't worth anything and I have no problem saying it. The people that make bottle returns their secondary income are the trashiest, scummiest fucks you will ever meet. Not only do they not clean their bottles, but they also have about 5,000 of them, and then dump their beerwater onto MY floor when they just dump it into their cart. In one particular disgusting instance, some douchebag either himself or had his dog take a dump in one of our carts. I am not making this up. If I track that fucker down I will knock his teeth out and ram them down his throat. Another random thing I found in a cart was a plastic bag filled with dirty ashtrays and cigarette butts. I'm fucking bringing in the carts, not cleaning up after your hillbilly whitetrash fucked-your-momma ass. Have at least an inkling of common God damn courtesy to not treat us like shit. I do my job. I do my job well. But I will not clean up after you lazy fucks.

In closing, I guess this entire rant can be summed up by the motto we should all live by: DON'T BE A DICK TO PEOPLE MAKING MINIMUM WAGE!!!!

Damn it to hell,
Angry